Would You Prefer To Work On Your Goals?
One of the simplest ways of improving your ability to achieve more of the results you want in your life is to begin to change the words you habitually use. Most people accept that the words you use are directly related to your thinking processes, but for most that’s as far as it goes.
For many this may seem like nothing more than “psycho babble” which is only really of interest to psychologists and academics, but this would be missing a simple and very powerful tool to take control and improve your everyday experience of life.
How can you use this simple distinction to improve your experience of life immediately?
Firstly by recognising that the relationship between thoughts and words is not one way, thought may lead words, but words lead thought! This means that changing your words will change the way you experience life, immediately! This always works, simply because it is how you’re wired.
One simple way of doing this is to break out of the prison of your “OR” thinking.
While it’s easy to see the limits when someone says should I do this “OR” that, the “OR” can be more subtle (and therefore often more powerful).
When you say, “I would like to work on my goals, but I am a busy mother”, what are you revealing about how you see the world?
You are clearly indicating that you believe the choice is that you can work on my goals, OR, you can look after my kids!
If you begin to listen for it, you’ll hear this sort of thing all the time.
I would like to get a job I enjoy more, but I need to pay the mortgage
I will set up my own business when the kids leave home.
I can’t get the job I want because I procrastinate!
My guess is that you don’t have to listen to other people to get some more examples; you’ve probably got a good stock of your own.
All of these examples are clear “OR” thinking; they reveal the limiting belief that you have to choose between the options.
Bur the truth is that your brain is much smarter than that,
Your brain will answer any question you ask it!
So simply asking a more empowering question will begin to turn the key in the lock in the prison door of your limited thinking!
How different is your experience when you read out the following?
How could you work on my goals AND be a great mum?
How could you find a job you enjoy AND pay the mortgage?
How could you set up your own business AND still be there for the kids?
How could you procrastinate AND still study enough to get good grades?
If you find yourself answering I can’t - take that as a sign!
It’s a clear sign of your limited thinking? Think about it there are people all over the world doing each of these things! Thousands if not millions of them - why not you?
So keep asking the question, if you run out of answers, find some friends who support your growth and get them involved.[Note I said friends who support your growth, this is important but it’s a whole other article].
You can do more than you believe, your habitual patterns of thought and behaviour may have brought you to where you are today, but they do not define you - You can choose a different path at any time AND this simple tool will help set you free.
As a final thought for today, while coaching individuals and groups through turning their lives around I’ve found that you’ll have much more success if you make it fun. So forget grammar and add:
“AND how could you have FUN doing it?”
Anth Quinn has been described as the best-kept secret in Personal Development; he is a straight talking champion of everyday people and despite developing a loyal following of over 10,000 readers he managed to avoid publicity.
He says that he finally stepped up to right what he saw as fundamental flaws in much of the personal development industries and he became determined to do something about this.
Despite a massive amount of good information out in the market place Anth says that most people never make long lasting positive changes in their life. Why is this? Well, he says almost every personal development guru is missing a fundamental piece of the puzzle, and it’s not what you think!!
You can check out his free “daily action tips” at http://www.empiricalcoaching.com/takecontrolFDT.htm
Tags: Self-Confidence, NLP
